Tuesday, December 30, 2008

but it's hell in the hallway

there's a twist on the "when god closes one door" expression which goes:
when god closes one door (s)he opens another ... but it's hell in the hallway.
over the years i have learned to accept and even like the hallway. it provides rest time (i love, love, love rest) and allows me to slow down and think about what direction i'm being called to.
i had planned to move to barcelona with dog and bunny in the fall of 2009 and live for a year or two, working online part-time, tutoring a little for cash, relaxing on the beach a lot, making friends. i decided i needed some transition time before going from this life i have here to the convent. to go straight from one to the other without a breather would be more difficult. i also can't go with my dog so i have to wait for her to die. i'm not giving her away. i just couldn't. i want to be with her at the end, hold her paw and say good-bye. kiss her nosey-posey. say i love her.
anyway, i decided if we have to wait, we can do it some place warm, with beaches, in europe.
however, with the financial crisis, i'm thinking this is not the time to leave my cheap apt. and steady job. so, into the hallway i go.
my spiritual life is hallwayesque as well. i go to the community of the holy spirit when i can. i'm an associate there. my spiritual director is there.
i'm praying the daily office with this great book by phyllis tickle that maps out the different prayer services of the day: morning prayer, noonday, vespers, compline. it's really easy to follow and beautifully written.
i'm just waiting.
i haven't written because there's little to write about.
could be that way for a while.