Wednesday, May 20, 2009

the question of kids

when i first heard the call to the religious life i said to god, "no f#%*ing way!" i was planning on getting married (preferably to a pediatrician/veterinarian) and have children (two and send them to collegiate). so, i thought for a long time about why those things were deal breakers for me. i came to the conclusion at the end of my think that marriage i could definitely live without. i really only wanted a wedding anyway, not necessarily a husband. kids though, that was tough. i had always wanted to be a mother. so, i decided that since i figured god didn't make a mistake in calling me to a live of poverty, chastity, and obedience that i would at least have to be able to work with kids. so, i got my master's in teaching english as a second language to K-12 grades and began teaching 5 years ago. i hope that when i do enter the convent, they'll look at my experience and qualifications and let me keep teaching as a religious.
i still love kids but .... i'm ok now without having any of my own. they say that teaching is the best birth control there is. it's working for me. 25 kids in school is way different than one or two at home but still.
all joking aside i think i can do better by NOT being related to children because they'll be more likely to open up to me. when i was a teenager especially i relied on my relationships with adults who were not my mom (my dad had died by then) - esp. my youth group leaders from church. they totally rocked. i hope to be a rocking nun.

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